Jensen Bellamy: Creatio [EX NIHILO]

a [YEAR] in [REFLECTION]..

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 01:18:00 -0500

Here’s the obligatory post we all knew was coming:

It’s already 11:15 AM here on New Years Eve in Kanpur. So it will be a little weird for me to say Happy New Year before everyone else I know. STILL, expect a call via Skype. We’re playing it low-key. No parties. Just dinner and drinks in the room and writing some songs.

Today, we’re on the road, and we’ll be taking a tour of Varanasi, one of the oldest and holiest cities in India. Our guide has been prepping us for this tour of this Jain, Hindu and Buddhist holy ground, by sharing some teachings with us. One of the most important philosophies he shared with us today, is to live each day NOT like it’s your last, but rather to live like each day is your FIRST. Every experience should lead to new knowledge, new discoveries and put you on the road to your new self. Opening your mind to the possibilities of the undiscovered in even the mundane increases your awareness of self and the world around me.

2011 has come to an end. I can’t even begin to tell you where the time went. 2011 introduced me to so many new friends and so many amazing memories. The Guinness Book of World Records show… watching Lucy tear up Lollapalooza with her solo project… playing to a sold out Wembley… somersaulting into the ocean after my proposal… my recent trip to Haiti… my wedding…

So at the insistance of our guide, and weighing in these new experiences, I’ve come to realize that I’ve been made a man anew this year. Who I was twenty years ago… ten… five… one year ago isn’t who I am now. Each one of those trips, those shows, those smiles and stories shared with fans, has changed me in a positive way. I don’t think about life the same way. I learn some new trick or hear a funny joke that allows me to see my environment differently.

2011 was a year of recognition and change. I put forth right now to commit to making 2012 a year of prosperity and happiness continued.

But with joy, comes pain. May I issue my condolences to the Nichols family on their tragic loss this weekend. May you find comfort in your memories and the love that was shared during her time on Earth. She planted a seed of guidance and strength. May you all nurture it and grow in the knowledge that her spirit lives on. Like the Taj Mahal I viewed only yesterday, remember that grief can produce something beautiful and long-lasting; an expression of love admired by the world; unique and solid of stone. Share that love and it will stand strong, known throughout the world.

a [BEAUTIFUL] lie...

Fri, 09 Sep 2011 01:10:23 -0400

Someone asked me to post about lies.

To say that you’ve never lied is telling a lie in the first place. It’s something we’ve all done and it’s something that we’re all capable of. It’s a part of the human experience. But like anything we do, there are consequences. But it is our quest to decide whether the truth is better than the lie.

I have an complete open policy with my wife. She and I hold no secrets from each other, we are honest with one another and tell the truth. But there are amendments to this. Secrets do not include “surprise” secrets (e.g gifts, news, trips, etc). And while honesty is the policy we’ve accepted, it does lead to a lot of jaw-dropping and/or foot-in-mouth moments. So why do we keep it up? I get to know who she really is, and vice-versa. If I step in it, well, it’s a chance for she and I to get things out in the open and come to an understanding. You’ll see us joke about harems and hall passes and things of that sort. I will never lie to my wife about finding another woman or man attractive, and I don’t expect her to lie to me about it. There’s no point. I’m secure enough in who I am and whom I’m with to not get jealous over it. Not anymore, at least. She liked it. So she put a ring on it. I’m a step ahead of every other dude on her list.

Except maybe Skiba. But we’ll divorce that bridge when we come to it.

White lies lead to white snowballs that become white dwarves that become white hot searing hatred or trouble down the line. And let’s face it: when the truth comes out, knowing that you were lied to tends to hurt more than the truth itself. Sometimes, the truth is inconvenient, but the more it’s dragged out, the greater possibility there is for drama. And no one wants that. Put on your Big Boy/Big Girl pants and tell the truth, kids.

I’ve been lied to by management. By record labels. By people who claimed they had my best interest at heart. But when the chips were down, and I needed that assistance? They were scattered to the wind. And that hurts. And it hurts even more when they’ve taken your hard-earned money and ran and you’d be borderline broke (if not for some brilliant planning on your part to cover your band’s ass fiscally). I’ve lied to people either to protect them or protect myself, and it’s always backfired. In every instance, there’s been some kind of irreparable damage. Usually where trust is concerned. The risk is too high, and never seems worth it in the end. Honesty really is the best policy.

Sometimes our fans think I’m lying when I say I’ll get to a project “soon”. Many have come to dread the word (there are thousands of gifs/memes on the subject, I hear). But I try to really mean what I say, because I know the Ex-Pats are counting on me to deliver. And while “soon” might not be the best word, I do tend to deliver. It just takes a little while with everything I have going on. The “soon” that came with the promise on the “This is War” video turned out to be almost a year.. with two other videos released before that one.

Guess it just sounds better than “eventually”.

Unplugged and Recharging

Thu, 19 May 2011 19:36:00 -0400

I remember being parked in front of the television with my dad, my eyes glued to Eric Clapton’s fingers. He was perched on a stool in front of a microphone with his acoustic guitar in hand. He was belting out new tracks and classics ones with a new spin (I’m still in loved with the acoustic “Layla” to this very day). The year was 1992. The channel was MTV, at the height of its greatness. My dad was a session musician back in the day and is actually featured on a few of Eric’s old recordings. I was a baby the first time I met him, so knowing I’d met this guitar God once upon a time just amped up the excitement for me. I already had the desire to become a musician, but watching this down and dirty, bluesy Unplugged session just made my will that much stronger.

Double that enthusiasm a year layer when one of my favorite bands, Nirvana, aired their Unplugged session on MTV. The same enthusiasm my dad had about Clapton is the same I had for Kurt Cobain. Telling my dad to take notice of his style. The passion in the voice. The depth of the lyrics that wouldn’t truly resonate with me for another few years. But I remember vividly telling my dad after Nirvana: Unplugged aired that if I ever had a successful band, I hoped MTV would ask us to do an Unplugged.

Eighteen years layer, MTV did just that. Last week, Casey, Misha and I recorded a taping of Unplugged in front of 50 of our closest Ex-Patriot family. Costumes, warpaint, belting out lyrics, and everything. I wanted our session to be like our live shows, introducing other audiences to what an Ex Nihilo concert is like; To welcome them to the Ex Nihilo family. We had a number of special guests including the amazing Vitamin String Quartet and a 12-piece Gospel choir from Harlem who helped us do a cover of one of our all time favorite songs, U2’s “Where the Streets Have No Name”.

That song holds great memories for our band. The three of us moved into a loft apartment on Berklee’s campus the summer after freshman year. As some of the only residents there that summer, we had free reign of the building. We’d point our speakers outside the windows and blast vinyls all day and night and throw parties on the roof. One of the albums on heavy rotation was Joshua Tree. I even remember us playing “Where the Streets Have No Name” on the roof of the Admin building as an ode to U2’s ode to the Beatles in their video. Having the choir do the song with us just heightened the emotion of the moment. I sang my heart out on that one, and really surprised myself. Their passion and energy only fed mine like fuel to a fire and it’s really something I know I’ll never forget. It was a great tribute to how far we’ve come as a band. Being invited to do an MTV Unplugged is like a rite of passage for any band, and I feel it puts us up there with not only Eric Clapton and Nirvana, but Maxwell and Jay-Z as well. I hope our session of Unplugged, which airs in July, can do those previous artists justice. I hope you’ll all enjoy it.

Lucy and I are counting the days to the wedding: 86! The band has been pushing our album for the last two years, touring for the last year and eleven months. We’re all exhausted and taking on other projects. Casey is producing albums for friends in other groups and solo artists, Misha is managing a great new electropop band, and I’m starting my family in addition to a few other projects. I’ve also been having some trouble with my voice for the last year, so we’re all due a nice long break. It might be a long time until we’re all together in the studio again. It might not be forever, but the timing has to be right for us to record. But we might never be able to top This Is War, so who knows? The country was in turmoil, our band was undertaking the biggest battle of our lives with our label just to put out an album. The Fight was in that record. Will we have another battle in us for the next round?

Three more months worth of shows, and then life goes on. Ex Nihilo will be back and better than ever….

…maybe.

Texas: A Hog in Heaven (or "A Hungry Guy in Love")

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 09:48:52 -0500

Greetings from Texas (I think we’re still in Texas? En route to Louisiana so we could be anywhere by now). I just ate that. Sliced pork sausage, a couple slabs of brisket with a side of beans, potato salad and some Texas toast with some dill pickle slices. After four dates in Texas, I can easily say I have sweet and tangy hickory-smoked slow simmering sauce in my veins.

This will be happening in a little while. Late-night rib joints are le shit.

The first tour of 2011 is underway to smashing results. All of the shows have sold out so far and there are many more selling out everyday. Thank you everyone for the support and coming out! We promise some surprises and some new material to make it worth your while.

So there’s a rumor floating around the Interwebz. I figured I’d quell it now before it gets out of hand. YES, Lucy and I are engaged. NO, it is not because she’s pregnant.

The ring came on her birthday while we were on vacation in Fiji. The resort does a floating pontoon dinner table, so we were sitting in the middle of the ocean eating. There were candles, it was dusk, the food was amazing.The setting was perfect. After dessert, we’re walking on the dock toward the beach and we’re talking about the trip and how perfect everything was and how perfect things have been for us, and I made my move. With the sun casting its final pastels of light into the paradise sky, I got down on one knee in the sand and I asked her to be my wife. And she accepted.

And in celebration, I ran back to the dock and flipped into the water. Forgetting I had my phone in my pocket, but that’s not important.

I’m just a tad old-fashioned in some respects. Lucy thought it was cute that I spoke to her parents over Christmas about my intent to marry her. To which her father said, “Duh” and that he’d love to have me as a son-in-law. Her mom burst into tears and hugged the shit out of me. Lucy also thought it was even cuter when I told her I spoke to Blake about my intent to marry her as well. As the main man in her life, I felt it was only fair to get his blessing as well. Now, I don’t know if the average 20-month old can wrap their head around the concept of marriage, but I know Blake is anything but average. After asking me a series of questions that really made me ponder the true meaning of love in one’s humble existence, he gave me his blessing, we hugged it out, I gave him a cookie. It wasn’t sweetening the pot, I swear. He really fucking earned that Oreo.

But honestly, there was a lot of smiling involved when I spoke to him about it. And I believe he understands me whenever I say “I love mommy” because his smile gets bigger and you can see it in his eyes. Lucy and Blake are a 210% packaged deal. And it’s been a load off my chest that Blake likes me. You hear all these horror stories about being a significant other to a single parent and the kid hates them, etc. The first time I met him was the first time I met Lucy. Blake and I got along so well at the EN Toronto show that he didn’t want to let go of me and threw a fit when Lucy tried to take him away. So I brought him out on stage for a little bit and he sat on the piano while I played a song. He and I have been tight ever since. I love the little guy like he was my own. I was moved to tears the first time he told me he loved me. Unprovoked. Out of the blue. That was an amazing feeling for me to be loved and accepted by such an awesome little dude. I felt on top of the world and haven’t come down since.

Look at her. It’s no secret I’ve been madly in love with this gorgeous and talented woman from Jumpstreet. I’ve never hidden that fact, nor would I want to. I’ve always been a fan of Barclay and when she joined the group she was my “Crush from Afar”. But meeting her in person just cemented those feelings. A woman who can shred an axe like Hendrix reborn!? How could she not be my dream girl? But I didn’t press: she was with someone else, and I wasn’t sure I was even ready to be in a relationship again after the last one.

We were friends for a while after that, just keeping the conversation light and open. When she and her fiance parted ways, I let her vent her fears and frustrations about it. Everyone thinks I kicked up my heels, waiting to pounce, but that’s a very hard thing to handle. I offered my support, having been in that situation. Lucy and I built our friendship to a solid base before either of us considered dating the other. We took things very slow, which felt great for both of us. I am a gentleman, after all. Because of this, I can honestly say that Lucy Davis is my best friend, my confidant, and my greatest source of courage in the world. I love that she’s not afraid to tell me when I’m being an asshole or when I’m not taking care of myself or being a big whiny baby. It helps knowing that however I’m acting, she still loves me, even at my worst. She’s my friend and my partner. 50-50. There isn’t anything I do that she doesn’t know about. Hopes, dreams, fears, fantasies. That’s how we established things from the start. No secrets, completely honest. And while it’s been difficult keeping to that for some things in my life, it’s been a very rewarding experience. She hasn’t tucked tail and run away. Which is somewhat of a relief.

It’s no secret to anyone who’s known me for longer than two seconds that I’ve never felt normal. There are things that people do in their lives that make them feel or seem or act normal. That’s never been me. I’ve always felt odd and out of place. Sometimes on purpose, and other times purely by fate. Sometimes, I’m stuck. At times, I’ve felt like I’m in the deep end of the pool, weights on my ankles, trying to reach for the surface. Gasping and grasping at the air above me. But it’s always out of reach. And it’s not until you’ve found that one person to reach in and grab you and pull you to safety that you know just how deep you sank. Just how far removed from the world you’ve been. That person breathes life into your lungs, opens your eyes and gives you a thousand and more reasons to just feel comfortable in who you are. They don’t judge you. They don’t want to make you into something you’re not. They don’t blame everything on you, only make you responsible for what you do. They push you to want to be a better person. Not just for them, but also for yourself. Will I ever be/feel normal? Never. But that’s fine. She loves me, flaws included. Is she too good for me? HELL TO THE YES. But she gives me the hope—even if it’s just an illusion—that one day, I’ll be good enough for her.

She’s a savvy businesswoman who’s not afraid to think outside the box or speak her mind and I love that about her. She’s an artist with a true, clear vision of what she wants to say and create. She’s been instrumental in helping the band in MANY different ways and I’m doing whatever I can do return the favor. I love that she’s a peacemaker. In a situation where I’d lash out and tear someone a new one, she’s the bigger person who won’t add fuel to the fire, keep herself cool and calm and make the other person look like an ass. She doesn’t mind the rambling train-of-thought kicks (much like this entry). But she never gets lost on them. She’s with me on every confusing step. She knows how to communicate with me, even without saying a word. Over Christmas, we were in the studio tinkering with some new equipment when on a whim, I fired up Pro Tools and she and I started jamming. I captured the most amazing sound we’ve ever made… together. It meshed and flowed so well, our music has become an extension of our relationship. It was beautiful.

She is the most genuine soul I have ever met. It shows in her music, in how she raises her son, in how she loves me. Call it sappy. Call it disgustingly sweet. I don’t care. I have never been happier in my life than I am right now. I smile so much that people I’ve known my entire life barely recognize me. I have always felt defective and empty. But not anymore. I feel whole. I feel perfect. I feel loved.

To call this Heaven is an understatement.

A Mixtape for My Mates (Intro to 2011)

Sat, 01 Jan 2011 02:59:00 -0500

Time is crawling here in Las Vegas. I’m sitting backstage in the dressing room. Still HOURS to go before the show starts, and I can guarantee it’s going to be insane. There will be stories left to come still. I can assure you that. We’re going to crown a King and Queen of the S&M Ball. Never been so excited and nervous to see costumes as I am tonight!

So I’ve been working on this for three whole days. It’s a list of songs that remind me of the people who bore the most positive influence on me, especially within the last year. I know it’s not much; it’s merely just a note that you guys are always on my mind and thank for for the laughs, kind words and the love.

So here we go, in no particular order:

Angela Lucas: Pretty self-explanatory. Why’d I make a pornish-video? Well, she says it all… Cumswap. Just for old time’s sake.

Sari Nichols: I couldn’t help it. You’re adorable and I love being able to geek out with you.

Jonathan Porter-White: Brothers in Snood, and Pajama Jeans. I find myself so jealous of your talent, but so grateful to call you a friend.

If you’re ever in a tough situation/ we’ll be there with no hesitation/ Brotherhood’s our rule we cannot bend…

Beatrix MacLaren: I was really nervous going to your wedding as Lucy’s plus-one, as that’s the most formal I’d ever been dressed (probably won’t be that formal at my funeral). But after meeting you, I was immediately at ease. I could see why Hector is so smitten with you. You’re as witty as you are beautiful, and gifted in everything you do. So down to Earth. And your excitement when Lucy and I were looking at London real estate was really cute. I still might look into a rental.

Hector MacLaren: I love meeting my heroes, and as an aspiring director and huge fan of your work it was an honor to ge a guest at your wedding. Your family is awesome and your lot is welcome to see a show or go out to dinner anytime. You’re honest and shoot from the hip and it shows in your films. You create as you live and I love that. I love the real. And you’ve got insanely great taste in rap and hip-hop. Cheers, Hector!

Quentin Bailey: Also under the hero file! I think you’ve got a brilliant spirit and incredible talent. You sense of humor is second to none. For you, is an old classic from my youth. I know Hector is into rap, and I’m not sure you are, but hope you enjoy nonetheless.

Evie Greenhart and Bit Rawn: Young heartbreakers, the both of you. Absolutely wicked…

James Barbat: It’s been a very tough year for you, but I’m positive that you have and will overcome the worst. It’s only temporary. The hardest trials are the most rewarding with overcome. I have full faith in you.

Alaric Dawson: Don’t lose sight of who you are and what your art is out to accomplish. Don’t worry about the “industry” changing you. YOU CHANGE THE INDUSTRY.

I don’t know what you’ve been told/ the rich get rich, the poor grow old/ when everybody’s blood runs cold/ it’s time for something real…

Julien Brazes and Van Der Bos: Do you guys really do house parties? Because… maybe for mine and Julien’s birthday next year… just kidding. You guys are amazing and I’ve always been a huge fan. But getting to know you and dance with you at the MacLaren wedding, I’m an even bigger fan. You’re creative and never cease to amazing me. And you make one fucking cute little family. Happy New Year to you two and Baby Bos as well.

Avi “Roach” Kareem: We definitely need to talk/hang out more. Your flow is fun and positive. In the midst of so much shit in the world you keep it as uplifting and honest as possible. Kudos to you for not losing sight of what hip-hop USED to be, the straightforward, yet positive model of encouragement for its listeners. You have a great sense of humor. Take good care of the girl. Stay on your grind!

Magda Pescariu: Yep. You know I love you. Miss you. Thank you for the video footage! It helped like you wouldn’t believe! We’ll ride again soon.

Garbo Khiell: You are the most special person I know. I love the way you look at the world. I love the way you’re not afraid to get down and dirty when you’re all dolled up. I love how your heart is so big and you give your all to fight for your cause. I’m so happy you’ve found true love. Thank you for all your help with my projects and I will willingly return the favor any time you need my help. I will always be your Jungle Gym/Jim.

Jayda Laine: JAYDAKISS! I’m so fucking happy for you! 2010 was great, but 2011 is a brand new phase for you! I couldn’t be happier. You and I bonded over all things punk and you were my original cheerleader when Lucy and I first got together. Thanks to your encouragement, I am the happiest I’ve been in ages. You told me to take a chance on love, and I’m so glad I did. Your positive attitude and being my sounding board has been key for me. You are a great friend, you are a great artist, and you will be an AMAZING mom. I love you, sissah!

Dan Mackenzie: What an interesting start you and I got off to, huh? Look and where we are now. It’s been an interesting year for us both, and personally we’ve grown so much. Funny how some unlikely shared experiences really strengthened the bonds between us. I’m glad that you’ve made the strides you have toward self-improvement and overall happiness, same as I have, and may you always have continued success with that. You’re a joy to work with (and you take much easier direction than… well.. myself) and the quality of music has only gotten better. I am also honored to be your best man. One day, I hope to return the favor. Glad I can call you my friend.

AJ Noble: Another friend in the most unlikely of places. While I’ve always been into politics and making my voice heard, having a friend on the inside makes the interest that much stronger. But I can honestly say I had such a minimal view on what you really do, and the time you give to your job is incredible. You’re one of those rare public servants you hear about: the guys that aren’t doing it for the fame or the money, but for the people because you care. The way it should be. In big, bad D.C. you haven’t lost sight of who you are. You’re still the kid from Peoria that likes sports and rock music and taking care of animals. That’s what keeps you grounded. You’ve got a great sense of humor, which surprises me. I only give you so much shit because I think you’re far too serious for your own good. You’ve accomplished so much in so little time and when the chips were down, you stuck to your guns. It’s been really inspiring to see. But honestly, if I had a brother, you’d be the closest thing to it. I love you man. If you need me for RDOI ‘11, let me know.

Chloe Porter: I’m sorry. I’m sorry I fucked up and I’m sorry I can’t seem to fix this. But maybe somethings just… shouldn’t be. I’m willing to admit defeat if I have to.

Lucy Davis (you get two): Thank you for giving me meaning again. I didn’t realize how dead I was inside until loving you brought me back to life. Now I can’t imagine living a day without you, or Blake. You guys are such a huge part of my life and I’m so glad to have you in it. I can’t wait to see what 2011 has in store for us. Your show, birthday trip to Fiji, your album…. 2011 has a lot of awesome things in store.

To everyone I missed: May 2011 bring the love, peace and good fortune that we all need. Thank you all for the love, Kings and Queens. Be safe. Be free. BE HAPPY. New decade. New year. New beginnings.

-JMB

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife and hide yo husband. Cuz’ we...

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 19:54:57 -0500

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife and hide yo husband. Cuz’ we spankin’ errybody in here…

HURRICANE: THE FILM (Short-form, uncensored…)

A HURRICANE... and its Aftermath

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 19:42:02 -0500

Since the release of Ex Nihilo’s latest short film HURRICANE this past Monday, I’ve been slammed with phoners and interview questions and haven’t had much to say on the matter to friends and fans directly. And the reactions I’ve received about the film have ranged from absolute praise to utter disgust. Which I expected. Some people get it, and some people don’t.

The biggest issue for me are the people who insist the film was made just to shock and awe. Art for the sake of making people uncomfortable. That was never my intent. This film is a conclusion of personal story lines to two of our previous short films (“The Kill” and “From Yesterday”), as well as investigating the violence of sex and the sexuality of violence and how often the two go hand in hand. When discussing the subject of anything that pertains to a sexual nature, groups will often become uncomfortable. But humans are sexual by nature and denying that is denying one’s own DNA. Some, not vanilla by any means. I wanted to bring a bit of what goes on behind closed doors to light and investigate a few kinks—my own band’s included, but I’ll never tell which ;)—and shed some light on what other people think to be “abnormal sexual behavior”. Whatever floats your boat, I say.

But I still find it strange that I’m assaulted nightly by some of the most horrific images ever seen by man on the evening news, but sex remains the only thing so heavily censored by the American media. Was I naive to think that this film was going to go through the censors untouched? Not on your life! That’s why two versions exist. I knew some compromises would have to be made, even on the shorter, “heavily edited for television” version. But the thing that shocked me most was the one particular image that got it banned from a channel all together. One image in the film is preventing it from seeing the light of day on that network. And no, I refuse to take it out.

Here is one letter out of several we received about the inability for networks to broadcast HURRICANE as is.

Perhaps they thought I should have just stuck to bikes?

(Names have been omitted for Privacy)

Hi ——,

Here is the feedback from our compliance team,

Please note the final comments can only be given after our compliance
team has viewed the digibeta, there were areas which they were unable to
view towards the end of the video.

Overall the bondage theme will warrant a POST 10 PM restriction as the
film is in its current form.

There is one shot that will have to be removed completely for a POST
10PM restriction -

09:17 – WOMAN RUNS FINGER OVER OTHER WOMAN’S G-STRING
CLAD BOTTOM AND TOUCHES HER ANUS -

This shot makes the video completely
restricted.

There are other bondage shots towards the end of the film that compliance were unclear about, they would have to view frame by frame on
tape to gauge whether they would need to be cut too for POST 10PM.

The violence in the film is not graphic and would warrant a POST 7pm
restriction. But the overall sexual content does push the restriction
up.

Here’s what was logged so far:

Ex Nihilo – Hurricane (rough cut) OFFLINE

Contains:
00:27 – in French “It’s not reality, it’s a dream”
02:33 – threatening man in gimp mask with sledge hammer 02:50 – singer
jumps out of hotel window – fantastical – not imitable
03:00 – flash frame of erotic scene?
04:10 – singer puts leather eye mask on girl and pulls head back in an
erotic gesture – POST 9PM
04:15 – fight between gimp man and bystander – kick to leg / punch to
head -not graphic -POST 7PM
04:25 – girl in leather bunny outfit on knees briefly kisses a man
04:40 - man pulls a key on a ribbon chain from his mouth
04:54 – motorcyclist spins bike and skids across the ground
05:01 – bondage ball gag is put over girl’s mouth – POST 10PM
05:18 – cyclist stabs man with stanley knife – POST 7PM
05:46 – priest, rabbi and monk (?) burn books
06:15 – large breasted lady in a bra and gas mask
06:16 – shot of domestic knife – POST 7pm
06:20 – couple in bondage gear and handcuffs – POST 10PM
06:23 – girl with gag being partially suffocated by singer POST 10PM
06:30 – bondage couple
06:40 – gimp man hits singer with sledge hammer not graphic POST 7PM
07:00 – French v/o about abandonning yourself and sacrificing yourself to pleasure – no explicit language – ok
07:14 – bondage girls with nipple tassles -POST 9PM
08:06 – man chained to bench with masked men circling in a menacing
manner
08:17 – skuffle man hits masked men
08:21 – man punches man in rabbit’s head
08:40 – singer trapped in coffin
09:00 – French v/o about love and masks – no explicit language - ok
09:15 – dripping hot wax over body – POST 10PM
09:17 – woman’s finger running over other woman’s bottom in g-string and touching anus – COMPLETELY RESTRICTED
09:50 – lady with feathers and nipple tassles – POST 9PM
10:15 – couple in bed performing erotic acts – POST 9PM
10:41 – man runs hands over lady’s breasts – POST 9PM
10:43- man kisses lady’s stomach – POST 9PM
10:53 – man grabs and squeezes lady’s breasts – POST 10PM
10:54 – girl with nipple tassles – POST 9PM
10:55 – gimp man with woman in gas mask and bondage harness – POST 10PM
10:59 – bondage scene – POST 10PM
11:02 – forecful erotic pull of girl’s head – POST 10PM
11:06 – bondage couple – POST 10 PM
11:50 – singer and gimp man fight – punches, kicks and slaps – not
graphic violence – POST 7PM

If anything, I found the letter fascinating. I’ve always wondered what the parameters were for what airs when. Kicking ass and attacking each other with weapons is okay after 7, but God forbid something kinky happen! Gotta put that after 9 PM! Don’t want the kids seeing that stuff! What an interesting double standard. Does anyone happen to remember the “Tip Drill” video that included this gem? I remember seeing that in broad daylight, around 2 in the afternoon. Funny how things change. Think the censors would have had an issue with that clip had a man been touching the woman’s g-string? Is there REALLY anal contact? (HINT: there isn’t.) Homophobia rearing its ugly head? Who’s to say. Regardless, the clip STAYED IN THE VIDEO, I just made some editing compromises to get it aired. My lovely genius of a girlfriend reminded me of some previous music video examples that go around the censors, and there we are. HURRICANE for the masses.

But worry not my little sexual deviants. The Internet remains unrestricted: The full-length, unrestricted film is coming soon…

Sometimes to save the people you love, you have to hurt them.

Fri, 03 Sep 2010 05:09:00 -0400

The wheels have been set in motion for months now, and I’ve only been able to write about it now that the news has officially broken:

I have asked to be released from my contract with Sunday Bloody Sunday. And it has been granted.

The decision to do so was a hard one, and actually took years to get into action. Something happened to me yesterday that really put things in perspective and allowed me to see that I really did make the right decision. I have stretched myself thin maintaining two popular outfits with barely a break between for the last five years. The time has come, as they sadly do, to let SBS go. Ex Nihilo has become everything I have ever wanted it to be and I am so proud of my little college experiment. The band is at the critical stages now, and I still have much nursing and growing to do until I feel we’ve reached the pinnacle of our success. In order to do that, I must devote majority of my time, to this band.

This is not to say that SBS isn’t deserving of critical acclaim! When I helped start this band, it was to help a friend in need who had the drive and ambition to be successful in the music industry. It was her idea. Her brainchild. And I feel I am no longer in a position to interfere with the parenting. Five years and much success later, she no longer needs my help. The SBS. machine is well-oiled and one that Chloe Porter is fully capable of running on her own now.

People grow up, and as they do, styles and opinions differ. I didn’t feel I could put the same input into SBS as I would in EN. I was interested in taking SBS in a completely different direction, but for the sake of argument, I found myself saying “Shut up and play bass, Jensen” just to make sure things continued to go smoothly. That’s never how anyone wants to feel in a band. When you’re truly unhappy and things don’t feel the same way as they used to, the best option for everyone involved is to move on.

Before the rumors start, there is no malice between Chloe and I. When I discussed this decision, she wasn’t happy, but understood my position. We’re all adults. And we’re still friends. And friends want what’s best for the other, no matter how much that hurts. I will love Chloe Lynne Porter until the day they put me in the ground. She and I have come too far through life to part ways at such a thing. If she needs my help with anything in the future, she knows she can ask for it and it will be done to the best of my abilities, schedule permitting. Even if we have grown apart over the last year or so, she knows that I am always here for her, no matter how much it feels like I’m lopping off a limb. But enjoy the video for “The Only Exception”. I like to think of it as leaving on a high note, as Chloe and I wrote that together and it proved to be such a great song.

With just one band, I can focus a bit more on directing and producing. I have a few more videos left to do (yes I’m editing “This Is War” STILL, sit tight), and I’m excited to start production on Lucy’s new work. I can’t tell you how excited I was hear some of these demos! Being a big fan of Barclay, Lucy’s work is a completely different avenue, and equally as amazing. Her voice is INCREDIBLE! Can’t wait to get started on that.

Second part of the Into the Wild tour is underway, and we’ll get those rescheduled dates for you soon. PROMISE. I just need a little time to make sure the VMA performance is stellar for you all! Win or lose, it’s going to be a great time.

And speaking of the VMAs, SBS is performing, and it wouldn’t feel right not to be up there with Chloe one last time. So tune into the awards on September 12, and in addition to Ex Nihilo’s performance, see my final performance with Sunday Bloody Sunday.

The sun is coming up for Norfolk, VA, so I think it’s time I lay this (and myself) down. Thank you all for your love and support, and keep supporting the SBS/EN family.

-J

“Later in the evening, as you lie awake in bed with the...

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 01:51:00 -0400

“Later in the evening, as you lie awake in bed with the echoes of the amplifiers ringing in your head, you smoke the day’s last cigarette, remembering what she said…”

A worthy cover indeed. If you had to choose a single song to sum up life on tour, this is the only option.

Point well made. This is the new “wear your...

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 20:06:57 -0400

Point well made.

This is the new “wear your seatbelt” ad the UK is showing on TV.

It was started by some guy not hired to do it, but because the cause is important to him. He came up with this idea, and now it’s being hailed across the world as a beautiful’ commercial!!

The video has become so popular with the general public that people are forwarding it to friends/family on their own so quickly that it has spread all over the world in a very short time.

http://embracethis.co.uk/

(In an email from my mom. This is amazing. The most simple things often are.)

It’s an AME72! I FINALLY spotted one earlier today. Lot of...

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 13:36:47 -0400

It’s an AME72! I FINALLY spotted one earlier today. Lot of his/her work around!

Half an hour until curtain. First time performing in Israel about to go down. Pumped like you wouldn’t believe.

“One day, maybe we’ll make it…” -...

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 04:34:06 -0400

“One day, maybe we’ll make it…” - [CLOSER to the EDGE]

An [INTRODUCTION]

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 04:32:15 -0400

AUDIO. PHOTO. VIDEO. INDIGO. VERTIGO. EVERYWHERE I GO.